Mother's Day

Sunday was hard. Sunday was a day that applauded the special people in our life that we call Mom. The ladies that are there with us from the beginning. I skipped church on Sunday because I knew the whole message would be about Mothers and I am not strong enough to sit there without crying. I watched it on TV and I heard him preach about the job that only a Mother can do. As I listened I just thought about how much I wanted that job. I was also mad while hearing it - that it is a job that is so important and I haven't got a chance at it. I wish it was a job that you could work hard for and get an education and apply and put in time and effort and then get it. But unfortunately it isn't a job like that. It is one that God chooses who he wants in that job because each job is so different because each child is different. I know in my heart there are lots of ways to be a mom, whether the traditional way, the adoptive way or just the motherly love you can give a child who is not yours but needs it. I am not there yet. I am not to the point that any job would fill in the void of my desire to be a mom the traditional way. I have found myself praying lately that God soften my heart and help prepare me for whatever journey he has planned for us. I get so frustrated as we watch the news or read stories about children who are unwanted and abused out there. How do people get the wonderful job of being a Mother and then do those kind of things? How do they not know the blessing that have been given? The blessing we so desperately want!
I am fighting anger today. Today I have the mindset of a child that doesn't get their way and doesn't understand why - they get angry and irrational. I will get over it and will get back to the point that I know God has a plan - because He does and His plan IS better than any plan I have. I am just so ready to know what His plan is! Please pray for patience, endurance, faith and that God softens my angry heart.
Also that next Mother's Day is a rejoicing time in our live!