Update

I went to the dr yesterday (8/24/09). I still hadn't started my period.
My dr. had to do a pregnancy test before she can start me on medicine. They had ran out of tests so I had to go get a blood test done. :(
It came back negative of course and so she put me on medicine.
The 1st medicine is Provera. This is what I took last time. It will start my period. I take it for 10 days.
Then she gave me Clomid. I take this day 5-9 of my period and it should make me ovulate.
Also she is having me chart my temp with a basal body thermometer, and also chart when we have intercourse. I know what you are thinking and yes I agree it is awkward! Here is the worst part - we go back in 6 weeks to 'review the chart' with her.
I hate that this is what we are having to go through, but I am thankful that technology and medicine have come so far that this is an option. I am glad that we are doing something about our problem and the possibilty of it working is there.
We serve a big God and I know that He has all of this in His hands. I am just really having to learn to have patience.
Please pray for my hormones. They have been going crazy lately and I know this medicine will just make them do more. I have been going from depressed to sad to happy in an hour span. I am having hot flashes, headaches and cramps bad too. Just pray I can live normally until we figure all of this out!
Thank you guys!!!

Just me

I have been feeling very funky lately. I have NOT been feeling like myself at all. I know this has to be hormones. I am not doing the usual range of emotions you get when you are hormonal, instead I am sticking on the crabby side. I am just feeling at a loss. I think it is a hint of depression in a weird form. I am not unhappy with my life, just feeling so sad that it makes things not as good. I finally have a break for a few weeks from school and I can't find the 'want to' to do much. I feel like I just sit here in a daze - no emotion at all - a lot of the time lately. It is weird and I do not really know how to explain it. Of course my mind has wondered if it was because I was pregnant, but I am not so I do not know what it is. I wish my appointment was sooner so I could get answers from my doctor, but with the crazy work weeks coming up there is no way I can go any sooner. So now it is a waiting game. One more thing I have no control at all over and not only do I not have control over it, it has control over me and every area of my life. Yes I am frustrated. But moreso I am just sad. I can be nice and friendly but really deep down I want to get things done, come home and just be alone. Alone with my thoughts and not dumping my negative energy on others. I just can't shake this feeling. So that is where I am at right now. Not much to write about. Not much creativity here. Just boring me, not pregnant, not having periods, not able to have a range of emotion. Nothing. Just me. But not the me I want to be.