Just me

I have been feeling very funky lately. I have NOT been feeling like myself at all. I know this has to be hormones. I am not doing the usual range of emotions you get when you are hormonal, instead I am sticking on the crabby side. I am just feeling at a loss. I think it is a hint of depression in a weird form. I am not unhappy with my life, just feeling so sad that it makes things not as good. I finally have a break for a few weeks from school and I can't find the 'want to' to do much. I feel like I just sit here in a daze - no emotion at all - a lot of the time lately. It is weird and I do not really know how to explain it. Of course my mind has wondered if it was because I was pregnant, but I am not so I do not know what it is. I wish my appointment was sooner so I could get answers from my doctor, but with the crazy work weeks coming up there is no way I can go any sooner. So now it is a waiting game. One more thing I have no control at all over and not only do I not have control over it, it has control over me and every area of my life. Yes I am frustrated. But moreso I am just sad. I can be nice and friendly but really deep down I want to get things done, come home and just be alone. Alone with my thoughts and not dumping my negative energy on others. I just can't shake this feeling. So that is where I am at right now. Not much to write about. Not much creativity here. Just boring me, not pregnant, not having periods, not able to have a range of emotion. Nothing. Just me. But not the me I want to be.